It was a Tuesday, I arrived at school late for class, as I stumbled Enter the classroom someone through a paper plane and it hit my ass and it caused a huge bleeding bruise and it blistered and it correscated and saliva and spew and sweat and goo and slime started coming out of the blistery hole bruise hole volcanic volcano wound hole that just opened up on my buns and some people giggled but I just sat down in my seat and misses keffritskull said okay okay settle down class settle down and open up your history books to George Washington Carver and he's going to talk about how he invented penus butter because it's Juneteenth today and so we all opened up our books but instead of text inside the books it was a bunch of graffiti SWAT'sikas and everyone was shocked but it was actually a prank because I was actually the one who graffiti all the books in class with that and the girl next to me who had a huge crush on it was a huge nerd her name was Suzy Mcluuzy and she's kind of rotten b**** because she told she stood up and she said I know it was jare who did this and I threw a crayon at her head and it punctured her eyeball and she lost all her vision all her site for all eternity even into her next reincarnated lives she was always born blind and retarded because I threw that cran and it damaged her brain and her soul really really really bad but she deserved it for tattling on me and the teacher mrs K said okay young man you need to go to the principal's office right now so I went to the principal's office and right before he was about to suspend me and expel me and spank me and send me to military school the cafeteria Bell ring and I said stood up and I said I'm really hungry and I ran to the cafeteria to get somebody to eat cuz I was starving and the Bell came just in the Nick Senny of time, and so I walked into the cafeteria and luckily that a Mrs wetzel was making her world famous pretzels for lunch that day and so she was a really sweet woman of woman you would marry or keep as a mother and wife person of a person that you would want to keep around all the time to make you her world famous delicious pretzels and other things like that and I said to her thank you for the food and I sat down with the food and she said you're welcome and I said thank you again and she said no problem I hope you enjoy the pretzel and I looked back at her and I said oh I'm definitely going to enjoy your world famous pretzels misses wetzel and then I turned my head to walk to my table and she said you better do that young man and I turn the back around to see her and she winked at me and I winkedt at her and I heard my friends calling me such as Billy Bob Thornton was at my table and he was calling me to come eat and my other friend Susan McRusen was at the table and she was calling me to come eat and my best friend Jeffers McTwelkes was also at the table and are talking dog crombie was at the table and he was he can talk and are talking cat top cat was that the table he was telling me to come eat and so I was saying to them I've seen okay guys I'll be at the table very soon to call very very soon to come eat and I'll be there very soon and very shortly and I'm walking towards the table and I remembered that Mrs wetzel winked at me and so I turned back around and I said thank you for the wink and thank you even more for the pretzel and I'm really going to enjoy this and right now and I turned around to walk to my table and then I heard her say in the e far far distance, she said oh well you'll enjoy more than that if you come and take me right now on top of the cafeteria table and I couldn't hear what she said because she's so far away so I just didn't even turn around this time and I walked to the table and it's put my plate down on the table and I said guys I have had the worst day ever and there's no way that this day can get any freaking worse and by the way this was 9/11/2001 was this day and we all saw the person everything on TV and also Bob sagitt died that day and jump five the band broke up that day and just lots of really really terrible thing happened to that day to me that day into the world that day and I literally looked at all my friends around the table and I and I said to each one of them and I said there's no way this day could get any worse for me or us but mostly from me cuz I'm the main character sorry twelks, and right is I'm about to bite into my extremist delicious pretzel that was made by Mrs wetzel I hear of banging sound and I turn around and I look at the doorway of the cafeteria and it's none other than Dylan and Eric of the infamous combine accident ritual attack on the school, and I am just shocked and I'm just like okay great I was about to I didn't think this day could get any worse I'm thinking all this in my head and I don't even eat my pretzel because I'm just thinking they're going to they're going to finish me off first aren't they and and then I and then I ask I tell I talk to my friend and I say they're standing right behind the aren't they and I turn around and they sure is sure as rain they are standing right behind me the two gunman and that's the end.